I’m Ready For You, 2011

I’ve always been confused by New Years. It’s supposed to be this fantastic time – a new start with new goals – but I am always incredibly disappointed each year. I think a lot of this disappointment stems from my inability to complete my resolutions – the ones that I’ve had since the beginning of high school at least.

1) Find out who I am.

I’m a seventeen-year-old girl. I’m incredibly insecure because I can’t buy the right clothes, I can’t speak the right way, and I’m not liked by everyone. Deep down I know that none of this will matter in the end, but it’s incredibly frustrating to not be the confident, enthusiastic, content woman I want to be. This resolution takes time and age, so I know I won’t gain it in a year.

2) Have control.

I’ve desperately wanted it for years and I think I deserve it. I’m responsible for myself – I don’t drink, do drugs, or chance getting pregnant, and I work hard to be a better person. I want more than anything to be in college controlling my everyday actions and studying what I love. I want to be around people I choose to be around and love them one-hundred percent. I’m graduating this year – college is finally here. I won’t have the full control I want, but I’ll be a step closer.

3) Learn how to approach life.

These past few years, I’ve collected a group of idols. These people – Emma Watson, Kristina Horner, Lauren Fairweather, John Green, and Hank Green – all have qualities I want. Self-confidence, spontaneity, and an ability to follow through with inspiration and ideas. I know I can be a better person if I try to approach life similarly. With more control over my life next year, I’ll be able to make life choices that’ll teach me how to do this. Another step closer.

When I was in fifth grade, I got a pin number for my lunch account. Everyone in my grade had the same last two numbers, -11, for the year we graduate. When I first typed in that number, I distinctly remember thinking, “It’s so far away. I’ll never get there.” And now here I am, fit to burst.

I’m ready for you, 2011. I have been for years.


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