You’re Gross Too


I eat my french fries with mayonnaise. Yes, that’s right – I eat something gross. But you know what? I don’t need you to tell me that.

The other day during lunch, I was eating this – delicacy – while trying to be completely discreet about it. I don’t eat it often, but I’ve had it enough times to know the response I would get. It’s a response I do not enjoy.

What are you eating?”

I turn awkwardly, suppressing the urge to snap at the girl across the lunch table from me.

“French fries and mayonnaise,” I say.

“Ew, that’s so gross!”

She’s laughing, I’m not. It’s not that I don’t like this girl – in fact, we get along really well – but this  is a conversation I’ve had one too many times.

“Yeah, and I think your tuna fish looks gross,” I say matter-of-factly.

But she only laughs, wrinkles her nose at my food, and turns away. It was as if she was completely unaffected by my comment, and now I’m bothered. No one ever sees me making comments about how eating Kraft macaroni and cheese, or vanilla pudding, or eggs with ketchup is gross. The idea of eating any of those substances makes me want to vomit, but I respect your right to ingest whatever you like. Free country and all that.

In conclusion: Keep your comments to yourself. You may be making conversation, but you just come off as rude.

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